The Anxious Empath

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Embracing Change

Sometimes we find direction in life where we least expect it. When we open our minds to change there is no limit to what can be accomplished. We find ourselves, so many times, stuck in a hamster wheel. Maybe it’s because we think that what we currently have is all we deserve. Maybe it’s because we feel we are past our prime to try for our goals, that we have already missed our opportunities. Maybe we are so resistant to change because change can be terrifying. Anything foreign to our daily lives can be difficult and uncomfortable. The fact of the matter is that change is necessary. Look back through history and you will only find one constant. Change. True success, happiness, and health are acheived by change; by adapting, overcoming, and continually learning and growing.

I was wandering the woods with the kids this week, looking for mushrooms. I have been praying for direction often lately. I have been praying for God to tell me which path to take in life, and what purpose is mine to serve. Sometimes it’s difficult to see His intentions for us. My heart has been pushing me toward new horizons and I was terrified, because change is uncomfortable for me. While walking along I spotted a bluish gray stone. My very first, completely intact, arrowhead. I had asked for direction, and God had just given me an arrow.

I was over the moon excited about my find, but more than just finding a priceless piece of history I knew I had found something else as well. My sign. Affirmation that it’s okay to embrace the change. A sign that God is always guiding my way, even when I’m on new and uneven ground.

Where can you make changes in your life? Maybe it’s time to stop holding so tightly to relationships that aren’t serving your well being. Is that toxic friendship or personal relationship still serving you? Is that job still serving you? Does it feed your spirit, or just your belly? If you stopped grasping so tightly, would it still be there, with genuine good intention? Not all that we have is meant to stay. This past year has been difficut for so many of us, but I think therapeutic in it’s own right too. Not all of what was lost was lost in vain. What if we used this turning point as a diving board to jump into a more positive version of ourselves?

What if we used this time to shed the cocoon of stigmas, negative relationships, and “I can’t”s of life and emerged with wings and the ability to fly?

As I’m entering this phase of mid 30’s I am choosing to embrace the beauty of change. So many people tout thier 20’s and being the best years of thier life, I disagree. My 20’s was hard. It was a time of feeling inadequate, unprepared, and anxious. For me each passing year gets better, as I continue to find my confidence, my voice, and my purpose in life.

I have been busy making changes for my physical health, my mental health, and my spiritual well being. I have given myself the grace and confidence to stand up for myself; to say “no” when I feel the need to. I am slowly learning that everything is not mine to hold and help and fix. It is the most freeing and amazing feeling to shed what has been, for so many years, holding me down like a lead weight. I am learning there is no limit on the horizon, only the limits I set for myself.

33 may have brought about the emergence of gray hairs and my first noticable wrinkles, but those are badges of honor earned by living and learning in this life. Make the effort for yourself knowing you are fully worth that effort. Strive to make changes big or small. You have to shed that negative weight in order to spread your wings and fly.

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The Slow Return to “Normal”

The birds are chirping outside and it’s a beautiful Saturday morning. The trees outside my window are sporting new buds and the grass is growing at an alarmingly fast rate. We made it to Spring.

Spring is a always a magical time of rebirth and renewal, but it holds special significance this year. The darkness of both Winter and the rock bottom low of the pandemic are now blessedly behind us. The days are getting longer, the sun is brighter, and each day more research is studied, more treatments are explored, and more people are vaccinated. For one of the first times I can recall, I feel incredibly blessed to be an Ohioan. At 33, I have already received my second vaccine dose, while friends in other states are still anxiously waiting.

I ventured out to the department store yesterday. Although I have been in and out of stores for quick trips throughout the pandemic it was the first time I had leisurely shopped in over a year. It was so nice to spend time shopping with my mom and finally getting everyone back up to speed on clothing necessities. We went early in the morning and the store was blessedly empty.

Two hours into our shopping the store started filling up. As more people filtered in I started feeling dizzy and claustrophobic. It can be unnerving for anyone who has been taking precautions in the last year to re-enter normal society, but it’s especially difficult for those of us with social anxiety. I struggled with busy stores and large social gatherings long before the pandemic started. After many years of deep breathing techniques, and exposing myself more often and desensitizing myself to it, I had come to a point where it was rare for me to ever have an issue.

Yet here I was, at the department store in the middle of the women’s clearance section, visibly shaken and feeling defeated. Here I was, back at square one. I told my mom “I might have to bail on you pretty soon”, and just as mothers always seem to know, she knew why.

As we start this new Spring season with family and friends and time spent in the sun outdoors, I feel so grateful for all of the progress made. I look forward to the softball games, barbeques, drinks around the fire pit, kids birthday parties, and time at the local pool. While I am so thankful for gaining back so many things that I missed this past year, I’m okay with taking my time getting back to it.

“True life is lived when tiny changes occur.” -Leo Tolstoy

We have to give ourselves grace, compassion, and more importantly time, while expanding our comfort zones. I have always struggled to set boundaries, and have spent most of my young life as a people pleaser. If there is one thing I gained during the pandemic, it was learning to set boundaries regardless of what everyone around me thought. I will work to carry that gift with me as I go forward.

We are not all in the same place comfort-wise. We are not all of the same mentality, and that’s okay. Differences make the human experience that much more beautiful. I’ll be over here working toward my normal, one baby step at a time.

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Dark Days

If you battle with depression, you likely have good days and bad. Highs and lows. Sometimes it correlates to life events and hardships, and sometimes it surfaces when you least expect it. Depression has no rules. There is no calendar, and no periodic schedule that can help me prepare for it. It can cause anxiety when planning activities in advance. I have no idea how I will feel when I wake up each day. To top it off I feel compelled to hide it all. Partly out of embarrassment, and partly to protect those around me from being pulled down with me.

Sadness is a contagion.

So, I don my mask. The mask that shows the world that everything is “fine”. Most people who have emotional issues will tell you that they do more acting daily than a professional actor. Sometimes the acting is helpful and can pull you out of the dark. “Fake it till you make it”, I guess. I assume that for those who don’t experience it first-hand it can be incredibly hard to relate or understand. Most days I do well. Most days are “good” days. I’d like to share with you, however, what a “dark” day looks like for me.

I wake in the morning and immediately wish I could ignore the alarm and go back to sleep. It would be easier to hide myself away from society and stay in bed, but since that isn’t possible, I get up. I don’t care what I look like or what I wear. I muster the energy to brush my teeth, but that’s about all I accomplish toward getting ready.
Every step, every movement, is akin to climbing a mountain. It feels as though I am trudging along with lead feet. I don’t necessarily feel sad; more so just incredibly empty. For me that is the prevailing symptom. Emptiness. Like there is a huge void inside me where normal emotions, and ambitions should be. I can tell you that for the most part the world still continues turning. I do the bare minimum of what needs to be accomplished and I go through the motions to complete the things that I need to do. However, I find myself questioning my worth and productivity at every turn.
I can’t do anything right. I should be a better mother, daughter, wife, friend. I’m should have accomplished more today, this week, in life in general. I’m letting everyone down.
These are the days I go quiet. The days I don’t want to go anywhere, or see anyone. These are the days that the phone calls, text messages, and e-mails will sit unanswered. These are the days I break plans and cancel with friends. The days I just can’t seem to muster the energy for anything.

The ironic thing is, the only way to break this loop is to either wait it out, or to do the opposite of what your depression is telling you to do, which is to isolate yourself. The best way I’ve found to break the cycle is to force myself into the discomfort of doing something. That means putting those jeans on and brushing my hair. It means keeping plans and returning calls. It’s having meaningful conversations with friends and family. It’s being honest with those who mean the most to me. That generally means telling my husband that “I’m really not okay right now.” Or telling my mom “I’m really struggling.”

Whether you have depression or are just going through hardships, it’s so important to communicate it to those that care about you. While time alone can be healing and helpful, too much can be detrimental to your health. There is a stigma about showing and voicing our weaknesses, which is truly unfortunate. We are taught we must be convincingly strong and solid all the time, and that we must constantly show our best self and hide our emotions. I believe differently. There is nothing more daring than honesty. There is nothing braver than emotionally exposing yourself, or asking for help.

There is nothing more human in this world than sharing our faults with each other.

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Grit: What it is, and why it’s the most important lesson you can teach your child

Today’s children have been brought into a world of instant gratification. You complete a small task, you are rewarded. You take part in an activity, you are rewarded. While positive reinforcement is good and helps a child learn self-esteem, it can cause harm as well. They can become used to the instant reward, the prize for very little work. This can reinforce the idea that their “good enough” is plenty and restrict them from working harder to do better.

Merriam- Webster dictionary describes grit as “firmness of character; indomitable spirit”. Someone with grit is courageous and perseveres despite difficulties, obstacles, and failures. The way to success is to barrel through failures, to keep pushing and trying despite letdowns. It can be a hard lesson to teach.

People with grit are more likely to be happier and earn more money than those without. Future success has more to do with grit than it does a person’s IQ or knowledge base. So how do we go about instilling this in our children? Here are some ideas…

Let your child fail.

This can be hard. I know for me personally I struggle not to swoop in and “save the day”. It can be difficult to distinguish when to help and when to let them fail. Some questions to ask yourself are:

-Will this hurt their self-esteem long term? If not assisting them will result in extreme mental anguish, you need to help.

-Will they learn and grow from this? Your child forgets to put their homework folder in their bookbag. You have reminded often and done it for them. It’s time to let them go to school without it and face the consequences. They will grow from that experience and be more responsible in the future.

-Are they capable? Is it age appropriate? It’s obvious that we cannot expect the same from a young child as we can a tween or teen. Be sure to consider their age and limitations.

Praise efforts, not accomplishments.

Try not to praise too heavily things that come easy to your child. Maybe they get 100% on every spelling test. They are a good at spelling and it comes easy to them. Your child also got an 85% on their history test. You watched them study for it every night for hours. You know they tried their best. This is way more impressive than the spelling score and needs praised as such.

Don’t hide your own failures from them, use them as a teaching moment.

Have you ever tried to fix something around the house and just mangled it even more? Remember, you have an audience. Take a deep breath and say, “well I tried right?” “let’s see how we can fix this”. Let them see you make attempts until the problem is solved.

Show examples of people who have succeeded despite hardships.

If you read the backstory of many successful people like Olympic athletes, political leaders, actors or actresses, authors, scientists, etc. you will likely find tales of failure. Research together about someone your child admires, whether it be someone famous, or maybe someone they have met in real life. Discuss with them the hardships they faced and conquered to be able to get to where they are today.

Grit can be one of the hardest lessons to teach, largely because it isn’t found in a textbook. As with many of life’s most important lessons, it is taught by example both in the home and community around us. Praise your children for their sincere efforts. Failure isn’t the end, it’s the steppingstones to success.

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For the love of naps

I rarely remember my dreams, but I know I have them. Although I can’t normally recall what happened, the feelings from them linger when I wake. Today those feelings were of being panicked, helpless, and alone. Unfortunately that’s a pretty common theme for me. Why? I’m not exactly sure. If I had to hazard a guess I would say that I think our brain works out our past traumas at night. Maybe it’s to protect us so we don’t have to relive them awake during the day. There are massive chunks of time missing from my life where I’m not sure what happened, and truthfully I am grateful for that.

Although I don’t remember them, I still have to live with the aftereffects of my dreams in the morning. The pounding tension headaches, the jaw pain from grinding my teeth, the feeling of wanting to jump out of my skin, will likely follow me through most of the morning.

I’m going to be honest, I am a lover of naps. For some reason I sleep better in an hour in the afternoon than I do all night. On days like today, where I am emotionally exhausted, a nap can recharge me to be able to tackle the rest of the day. It can sometimes even, with the help of some Advil, cure my headache. A good nap is the only way I’ve found that you can hit the restart button on your day.

Panic attack? Nap

Depressed? Nap

Feeling unfulfilled? Nap

Headache or sick? Nap

Sometimes it doesn’t work. Perhaps it just perpetuates an unhealthy cycle of sleeping to avoid feeling. Ahem, surely that’s not what I’m using them for…

Honestly speaking, if you are just trying to make it through the day and don’t plan on using it as a lifelong crutch it can help in the meantime. I mean, maybe. If taking advice from someone who is mentally unstable and largely lives in their pajamas suits you, (which is somewhat concerning) feel free try it out.

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A light in the darkness

Mondays are always hard. Mondays during a pandemic, in the middle of winter, are a different beast altogether.

Today is a remote learning day for my girls. Here we sit at the dining room table. Both girls are on their school chrome books and I am on my laptop, while the snow falls quietly outside. While I’m so grateful to have them home today, it doesn’t quite cure my Monday blues. There is at least a haze of sunlight from time to time, and for that I’m extremely grateful. I don’t mind the cold so much. The snow doesn’t bother me, but the darkness; it’s just too much. I need light. A glimmer. A spark of shimmering hope.

This pandemic, this era in our lives, seems to be never ending and all encompassing. As someone who is obsessive compulsive and an avid planner, it is absolutely maddening. I want to plan outings, trips, concerts, but everything seems like such a question mark. I suppose we plan for the best and prepare for the worst? The new mantra to survive a new age.

I have an inkling to apologize for the depressive nature of this post, but I absolutely wont. While it’s so important to be spreading positivity to each other right now, I think it’s equally important to be honest that things are still stressful. It’s okay to be overwhelmed by the state of the world right now, and I would actually find it unnerving if I spoke to someone who wasn’t the least bit concerned. If you have a day where you falter, fall, or are sinking in the dark, it’s okay. Just don’t stay there. Don’t take up residence. Keep fighting towards your light, whatever that may be. Your light is unique. It could be your family, your dreams, or your career. The human race is blessed with an incredible resilience. We continue to push forward, we persevere. We laugh, and love, and take hold of the moments and days we are given.

We have the ability to emerge from this transformed. To be more grateful for the time with family and friends, to fully experience the gift that is live music or a large gathering. To soak every second of every experience in to the fullest. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. We are warriors. Keep fighting toward your light.

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Feeling overwhelmed and anxious? You could be experiencing sensory overload

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Do you ever suffer from sensory overload?

Sensory overload happens when you have many external stimuli competing for your attention at the same time.

For me, hearing about sensory overload was an “aha!” moment. I am easily overwhelmed, and get irritable when there is too much going on around me. I would get very down on myself about it (in truth, I still do).

As I sit here typing, my kids are continually asking for a snack, band aids, to get out acrylic paints, etc. I have my ear pods in to drown out as much of the kids YouTube they insist on watching, while running like crazy people and screaming through the house. The dog is pacing around. I am tense. I am just a few stimuli away from losing my marbles and my temper and telling everyone to calm down. I don’t want to be like this, and it breaks my heart. I am very prone to auditory sensory overload. Too much noise from competing sources is definitely my Achilles heel.

Symptoms of sensory overload can include:

-difficulty focusing

-feeling restless and irritable

-feeling “wound up” or tense

-higher levels of sensitivity to fabrics, textures ( clothing that you normally wear hurts, or feels itchy and uncomfortable

-feeling anxious or stressed

(Healthline.com, 2018)

Some days I am at peace with the chaos, and other days I am just try to find a small bit of peace within it, you know? I think the first step in helping solve this dilemma is acknowledging that your are affected by it. Some people with certain conditions are more likely to experience sensory overload.

Some groups who may suffer from sensory overload are those who have:

-ADHD

-Generalized anxiety disorder

-Panic attacks or PTSD

-Fibromyalsia

-Multiple Sclerosis

-Sensory Processing Disorder

-Autism

(Healthline.com, 2018)

Ok, so you have realized you have a weakness. What can be done about it?

Since it is socially unacceptable for me to lock myself in a quiet closet for the rest of my life, (not to mention how boring that would be) I have come up with a few ways to work though the insanity.

Ways to combat sensory overload:

– Intervene as soon as you realize you are struggling. It is so important to catch yourself before you have reached your “boiling point”.

-Remove any stimuli you can without negatively affecting those around you. Maybe a loud game of hide and seek is doable, but the T.V. needs turned off in the meantime

-Take “sensory breaks”. Go outside. Hide in the bathroom. Do what you have to do to shut things out for a moment.

-Go for a walk. Nature has a quiet calming affect

-Turn up the tunes. This may seem counteractive but a single loud stimuli can help to drown out all the other competing noise. This is probably why I am a fan of loud concerts.

Today I’ll do my best to embrace the chaos. They are truly only little once. However, if you find me in the corner later with my ear buds in; don’t disturb the beast.

K.W.,(September 27, 2018) What is sensory overload. Retrieved from https://www.healthline.com/health/sensory-overload.

Spring

Leaves crunch underfoot- long cast away from their perch on the oaks. The smell of earth and water hangs heavy in the damp air. What appears at first as a weary and dormant woods holds secrets. Life and energy emerge in a quiet defiance as the Earth awakens from its slumber

May we never been too old, too callous, too busy, or too important to experience the beauty and wonder around us.

The Christmas Blues

It’s a busy time of year, no doubt. The clock is ticking away toward Christmas, and every day to do lists have grown to an unnatural size. The world hasn’t stopped to allow us the peace to enjoy the season, but instead ramped up it’s expectations. And unfortunately we tend to do the same for ourselves, demanding perfection and constant holiday cheer. Family schedules are packed tight with all the regular occurrences and then we pack them some more with holiday “must do’s”. We tie it with a bow and smile for endless pictures, and share them with family and friends or on social media.

I have been on a downhill slide recently- struggling with health problems, an overwhelming work load that never stops, and a seemingly endless holiday to-do list that was growing by the minute. My mental health has been on slow decline since kicking the meds, yet I had continued to ignore it. There was no time to be sad. Too much to do. “Just keep swimming”, right?

So I micromanaged everything the best I could, because doing so gives me a false sense of control (obviously not a super healthy coping skill) and became an even more tense, rigid, structured, stressed out human…this, unsurprisingly, was unhelpful.

So there I sat on the couch last week scrolling through Facebook for the first time in awhile. I found myself looking at all the happy pictures. Pictures of families cutting down trees, visiting Christmas towns, going on polar express experiences on trains… everyone looking so happy, so perfectly made up. Matching pajamas! Perfectly decorated houses. Every darn elf on the shelf doing incredible feats of magic..and I lost it. I just completely lost it.

Some back story : Our elf is a slacker. He changes locations…that’s about it. He’s also an imposter, to be quite honest. I had to buy a new one this year after I scoured every inch of the house and discovered that he is legitimately just gone. Maybe magic? I searched every store for matching pajamas, proudly brought them home, and my youngest’s didn’t fit. There is no time in our schedules for trips to faraway train yards. My oldest is allergic to tree mold. Our fake tree has an entire branch covered in slime from 2 years ago.

So anyway, there I was, totally losing my grip and sobbing like a baby. I was on my way downhill anyway, to be fair, but all that perfection was all the push I needed to go off the edge entirely. I had what I would consider one the worst nervous breakdowns I can remember in my lifetime. I cried most of the night. The empty feeling was more awful than I can describe honestly to you. It was almost as if the very last “happy” chemical in my brain made its final exit, and the void it left was so empty and so big that it was more than I could handle. I took a sick day at work the next day, and spent most of the day crying as well.

This is the part of the story where I should be telling you that things take a good turn and I have miraculously found Christmas joy and gotten my crap together, right? I really wish it was.

I am holding myself together moment by moment right now. I’m fighting back tears constantly throughout the day. I’m desperately trying to “feel the happy”, and “hide the sad” for my poor girls and husband who have walked in on me crying more than I’m proud of the past couple of weeks.

I’ve bitten the bullet and made an appointment to get back on medication.

It’s quite clear that trying to eat healthier, or cut back on caffeine and alcohol, or practicing mindfulness, or attend regular therapy, are just not enough. Not enough at all my friends. Do you know what that feels like? It feel like defeat. It feels like I should be able to push through this and just be a “normal human” like everyone else. It also feels like regret. I should have given in sooner, before things got to this point. Finally is feels like grief, grieving for the beautiful season I’m missing out on, because my brain decided that manufacturing serotonin wasn’t on the to-do list.

So this Christmas, while I wait for my appointment to take a gamble on a new medication, I’ll just be surviving. All the beautiful and wonderful things will still be around me-I am incredibly blessed and I know this. But being blessed doesn’t help. I think people don’t understand that about depression. It doesn’t matter how blessed you are. It doesn’t matter how much worse anyone else has it. It doesn’t matter how much money you make, or how much you weigh, or what your professional title is. If depression takes its grip on you, that’s it.

I normally try to write things that I feel will strike a chord with someone or inspire good. I don’t have it in me right now. But maybe, just maybe, I’ll be back to that soon. In the meantime if you are struggling this holiday season, keep going. We can do this. It’s okay too if you are just figuring out that you need some help -because if you can’t make your own serotonin, store bought is just fine too.

The fork in the road : switching psychotropic meds after 20 years

It’s been months since I’ve written in this blog. I was using the excuse that I had nothing to write, or that I didn’t have the time. I know though, that the only real barrier was and always will be myself and my ego. My fear of being judged, or somehow letting someone down is often a roadblock to me feeling confident enough to authentically write. On the same token, this uncertainty and self-conciousness also fuels me to want to write; to want to speak my piece as a means to hopefully inspire others to do the same.

“If we start being honest about our pain, our anger, and our shortcomings instead of pretending they don’t exist, then maybe we’ll leave the world a better place than we found it”
-Russel Wilson

As I was writing this title, my stomach turned. 20 years…. 20 years I have faithfully (and sometimes not so faithfully) taken the same SSRI, otherwise known as a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. Why? Lots of reasons. Many of those reasons consist of letters grouped together that are somehow supposed to define me; PMDD, SAD, GAD, MDD. Other reasons spark from previous unhealthy relationships, traumatic experiences and the like. From a scientific standpoint I take them to keep my brain functioning properly, keeping chemicals balanced and circuits running smoothly. The principal reason is much simpler and to the point: If I didn’t take my meds, I wouldn’t be here to write this today.

So the question becomes, why fix what isn’t broken? Unfortunately good things don’t always last forever, and meds can have an expiration date other than the one written on the bottle. Our brains are highly skilled at adapting, and eventually build up tolerances to some medications, especially those that affect the nervous system. This is called tachyphylaxis, but is also lovingly called “prozac poop-out”.

For me the decline was suddenly finding myself in a constant state of panic and anxiety. My body was exhausted from the physical tension I carried each day and I was mentally drained from my constant fight or flight responses dueling against each other in my head. After many discussions weighing benefits vs. risks, and much hesitation on my part, I tapered off my long time medication and introduced a new one. The first try was a no-go and I switched again. I’m a few weeks into my most recent medication and I’m struggling with spiraling into a deep depression. Is it because it hasn’t reached its full effectiveness yet? Is it not a good fit? Do I wait or sound the alarm right now?

Finding a good medication fit for mental health is largely a game of chance and gambling. I have no baseline because I have been medicated for most of my life. I do know for certain that my body needs assistance to fight off my demons, and I will continue to work towards finding the right help.

To all my amazing friends who randomly text me to say hi or check on me…I love and appreciate you. I am just not myself right now, and haven’t been for some time. I’m not trying to ghost you. I haven’t replaced you. I just don’t have the energy or mental capacity to talk to anyone. My goals have become over simplified at this point. Get out of bed. Take care of my family. Do the best I can at my career, and survive each day.

Choosing our paths in life is a crucial step toward feeling fulfilled in our jounery. I will choose to live without shame of my mental illness. I will choose to live authentically. I will choose to be emotionally vulnerable, not as a means of self destruction, but to ensure humility and compassion toward others.

Found Things

I can’t recall when or how it happened. I do not remember a specific find that started it all. What I do know is that at some point in the history of my childhood I fell in love…with junk.

My affinity for what others deem junk or trash runs deep. As a child I spent countless hours searching the woods around my home for buried treasure. There was a mound of rock near the center of the property that housed all manner of glass bottles, porcelain, and ceramic pieces. I would delicately dig them up, hoping they were fully intact. Many times they were so covered in earth it was hard to tell what I had found.

I would gather up my muddy treasures and carry them gingerly though the woods using the front of my t-shirt like a makeshift bag. Once back to the house it was straight to the hose to clean them up. It amazed me that even though they had sat in grime for decades or longer, they could return to thier previous glory with very little effort. I would proudly line them up on the steps of our side deck and watch them dry in the heat of the sun.

My love continues now as an adult. I still get excited when a reflection from the sun catches my eye. I like watching them come back alive after a soak in the sink. With the help of today’s technology I enjoy looking up maker’s marks for glassware, researching manufacturers and dating pieces. Although some go back to the mid 30’s, most are relatively new. Somehow that doesn’t make me appreciate them any less. They all tell a story. A story that reminds us that we are not the first nor the last here on Earth.

Through many hours hiking with my husband and daughters, I have also discovered natural valuables along the way. Bird feathers, beach glass, deer sheds, a hog’s tooth and an arrowhead have now been added to my list of finds.

I feel blessed to have had so many opportunities to bask in everything mother nature has to offer. Whether natural or man made, there are so many treasures out there to be found. Some marvels you can’t take with you, like the sun warming your back, the birds happily chirping, or an animal darting across your path. These hold even more value, because they are treasures we share with each other.

Some may pine for Coach purses or Italian shoes. Others covet expensive artwork or diamonds. Don’t mind me, I’m just here for the muddy, moldy, treasure.